5 Women, Over $500,00 in Education, & No Clue

Last night I spent the evening with four former college roommates. It was a combination Try on your Bridal Gown - Surprise Baby Shower - Estrogen Carnival. All of us are doing very different things: retail manager, junior math teacher, college alumni officer, doctor, and physical therapist/mom. Besides the awkward realization that we're losing touch with each other, the night was manageable. When you include it, the night was worse. Amongst conversations of child birth, husbands, futures, and vaginal accidents gushing blood, one roommate passed out. That was interesting...

When the talk turned to children, a damper seemed to come over the room. Three women grappled with the decision of leaving the jobs they loved to be with their children full time. The two that didn't? The mom - she works one day a week as a physical therapist (keep in mind all the education and training she received). The doctor - she and her doctor husband are already resigned to having a live-in nanny (keep in mind all the education and training they both received). In both cases, money is not the decision maker.

The three that grappled:
1. The Junior High Math Teacher - after completing her masters degree, she is beginning a master teacher certification. This rigorous curriculum would allow her to teach in all 50 states and requires anywhere from 400-700 hours to complete in the one year time limit. She would be the first in her district to have her certification. She is considering teaching part-time - her district has a large number excellent teachers that are also quite fertile. It's one of the best ways to attract and maintain great talent in your work force. She and her husband are going to start trying this summer.
2. The college alumni officer - her love of traveling and sole devotion to her husband has her wondering if she wants to open up her heart to a children. Her husband's pending 30th birthday has him pushing the family issue. There are days she could be ready to start trying this summer, especially if it could take a year to get pregnant. There are days she doesn't want children. She thoroughly enjoys her job and her involvement in her church's planning and administration. They could easily afford to live off of his income; yet, she is reluctant to give up her life in the manner it would require. She is torn between the desire to please her husband and her own desires.
3. The retail manager - after devoting the past 2 years and the next year to a masters in business administration, she is ready for a change. She struggles with her current job and finding a job in a different career that would better take advantage of her passions and abilities. Her anxiousness to move forward in her life with her new husband is overshadowing the daily task of living in the moment. She spends her time thinking of what could be - and not how to change what she can right now. Because of her financial past of living off of credit, she has restricted her family's decision-making capability - and she feels great shame in having to shoulder that responsibility. This could prevent them from doing the things they want to do: buy a house with extensive property, her husband's further education, being a stay-at-home mom. If she was in any of their positions, she felt her future could be on track as she and her husband would like.

Behold, Jealousy, the green-eyed monster.

These five women dropped their heads at the decisions they faced. Unsure of how to manage their options and already feeling defeated at not being able to do everything they want to - and do it well. A heavy hush fell over the room.